Somethings crawling up my leg
I think it's my cat's Ghost;
I killed the motherfucker
when he tried to steal my toast.

I'm sitting on the shitter
and I hope and pray to God
I don't end up like Elvis
sitting here upon the pot.

I smoke another cigarette
or maybe it was hash;
I'd like to do cocaine but
I'm running out of cash.

My Computer's doing odd things-
Oh wait, it's the screensaver;
I picked it up on AOL
it's called 39 flavors.

A squirrel is eating pancakes
that are laying on a goat;
The wall are dripping blue
Which are flowing to a moat.

I went into a shopping mall
but didn't have a honey;
I saw a man with seven lips
and laughed cuz it was funny.

I'm walking down a silver drain
a clown is making toys;
He turns into a rattlesnake
and bites the girls and boys.

I think I'll cut my toenails
cuz they're getting too damned long;
I seem to have lost my mind
whilest working on this song.

Please don't bother me....I'm having
trouble with reality right now.
Please don't bother me....I'm having trouble with reality right now.

My mother thinks I'm stupid
my dad thinks I'm a loser;
My cat is always jerking off
my boss thinks I'm a boozer.

Falling down a vortex
into yellow jello draino;
Fuck I said some brand names
so I guess I gotta pay now.

The doctor put me in this place
he said I needed rest;
He took away my twinkies but
I got a real cool vest.

Please don't bother me....I'm having
trouble with reality right now.
Please don't bother me....I'm having trouble with reality right now.