LPC DEFINITION C

Lompoc [lom-pok] n. A city of Southern California, west-northwest of Santa Barbara
Population: 43,500       Area: 18 sq mi Elevation: 7ft    
Fun Fact: Don’t Drink The Water

Penitentiary [pen-i-ten-shuh-ree] n. A place for penance, imprisonment, reformatory discipline, and punishment. Don’t drop the soap.  Or drop it, if that’s what you’re into.  Nasty

Confinement [kuhn-fahyn-muhnt] n. Incarceration in a guardhouse or prison while awaiting trial or punishment. 

LPC [el-pee-si] n 1. A highly skilled, highly trained action/shooter specialist with the ability to secure a victory from the clutches of defeat.  2.  A glorified prior military nerd geekin on the weekend. 3.  A new hip narcotic that makes you fly high at night and leaves you dazed, confused and violated in the morning. 4.  Likes Pancakes

 

LPC HISTORY

“It crashed over there” “What was it?” “I don’t know, but we have to go look.” “Oh my god, do you see what I’m looking at?” “You think they’re alive?” “I don’t even know what they are” “Shhhhhh…….Somebody else is here”, “Damn, you guys scared us; you guys will never believe this, HEY! WAIT! WAIT! DON’T SHOOT.” On the eve of July 8, 1947 an unidentified object crashed near Roswell, New Mexico.  Eye witnesses recall seeing a disc shaped craft falling violently to the ground and a fiery explosion ensued afterwards.  The United States Military maintains that what was recovered was a top-secret research weather balloon that had malfunctioned. However, many UFO proponents believe the wreckage was of a crashed alien craft and that the military covered up the craft's recovery. The incident has remained a mystery and unsloved.  What does this have to do with the history of LPC? Not a damn thing, but hey it sounded good.

LPC stands for Lompoc Penitentiary Confinement.  Have we ever been in prison? I’d rather not say, and if you keep asking I’ll cut you.  It all started when Ghost Recon: Advanced Warfighter hit the scene.  A bunch of guys who’d been in the military decided to get together and vicariously relive their past experiences through cyber intervention.  Experiences we’re not supposed to speak of and the government has deemed best forgotten.  It’s what the quacks at the psychiatrist office call “Confronting Our Inner Demons” I say give us our guns back and we’ll confront those son’s a bitches back to the stone age.  Anyway we started off with the original 4, KIDGSXR, INFINITE, STUNTER and MAVERICK and with the added 3, LPC has grown nearly 3 times it's size and is still growing strong.

KIDGSXR is the tech guru of the bunch.  You name it he’s probably got the specs for it.  I mean come on the guy swims in the pool with a laptop.  He practically speaks to computers.  He’s got this old saying, “010101000010 01010 0011 10101” Whatever the hell that means.    He’s actually out on a reconaissance mission looking for some white rabbit.  I think he took the purple pill.

INFINITE is what we call in the military as an acceptible tacticle loss.  The loose canon. 
When the smoke clears and the dust settles, he usually is the last man standing.  Why you ask?  Because he’s got your back, waaaaaaaaay back.  An he’s been known to use teamates as personal shields.  He’s as crazy as the day is long.  He gets his name for the length of time he takes to process information.  As KIDGSXR says it best, “He’s operating without a hard drive” We can get away with saying that because by the time he figures out what that means, this thing would have already been updated.   

STUNTER, what can I say he’s just a smooth operator.  Einstinian intellect, cat-like reflexes.  Fights for justice and the American way, defies gravity, faster than a speeding bullet, leaps buildings in a single bound, extra sensory hearing, and my personal favorite heat and x-ray vision.  If you think that’s sounds like Superman, where do you think they got the idea from?  Shhhhh he can hear us.

MAVERICK, the quiet guy.  Always off on his own and never says much.  He’s either A) Plotting ways to kill the enemy and break their things or 2) Pretending to plot ways to kill the enemy and break their things so he’s not tasked to do anything else. He’s the Lonewolf, I know what you’re thinking, that’s probably how he got his name.  But no, he’s just a big fan of Mr. Cruise.  If you look online he actually set the record for the number of times he’s watched Risky Business.

Along the way we’ve picked up a few stragglers. Each with there own distinct background.

CHIODOS a.k.a ATREYU a.k.a. ERNIE , our first free agent.  He spends his time watching the grass grow and dust collect.  Very ambitious.  Works part time at the local strip club, there he wipes down the pole after each set.  I think the place is called Thunder From Down Under.

REDDEATH, he’s a soft spoken assasin and deadly with the long range rifle.  Soon as puberty hits he’s gonna be a force to be reckoned with.  He and CHIODOS are really, really, reeeaaally close and its getting to the point of just plain uncomfortable for everybody.  Cupid did a number on those two.  Must’ve been smoking the chronic when he fired that homo tipped arrow.

TILAPIA KING, the spiritual one.  Some say he has the power to control all the tilapia in the world or he smells like tilapia, its one of the two, I forget.  I think he’s just plain old creepy.  His hobbies are taking photgraphs at night.  Neighbors on the island call him “Hey You With The Camera In The Bushes.” If he’s M.I.A after a firefight, chances are he’s under someones corpse pretending to be dead.  He coined the phrase “To Each His Own” and if you’ve played with him, you would know what it means.